Friday, February 10, 2017

Unexpected life change

While I won't post details on here since this is for my children, I think this is a big deal that definitely changed our lives. On November 4, 2016, a man knocked on my door. Olivia and I had stayed home from school and my parents, Danyell and Kelly were here. Clearly God knew I was going to need their support that day. My dad answered the door and a man walked over to me and handed me papers and told me I was being served with divorce papers. I don't remember much over the next few mins other than I tossed them at him and said no over and over. I refused to look at them. My parents, Danyell and Kelly looked over them and I sobbed. The word divorce had NEVER been mentioned. I knew life wasn't just great at our house, but we never argued and I had no clue that John was done. I was devastated not only for myself but for my kids. How do you do this to children?! The problem was forgiven and I begged him to change his mind. He refused. For the next 90 days we lived under the same roof. Happy holidays, right?! I cried a lot. I begged even more. Olivia begged, but on February 4 we went to mediation. I told the mediator, when asked if there was anything I wanted to say, that I wanted John to know that I did not want this. I took vows and promised him, my family, his family and God that we would be together forever. Unfortunately, John signed all papers which left me no option. I saw his name on each and every paper and my eyes filled with tears. The last 18 years flooded my memories. We were no longer a team but two individuals who have to "co-parent" these two precious gifts that God granted us. I felt that I had truly hit rock bottom on that day. I came home and slept a couple of hours and then tried to jump back into life. Thankfully my parents and friends were able to carry me during and after this process. I was literally going through the motions of life.




 He moved out on February 8th and I still, even after papers being signed, begged him to change his mind. We came home to a lot of emptiness that night. I prepped the kids for coming home, and then made a joke out of it....because laughing is way better than crying!!! Olivia decided we had a huge dance floor! So we danced. That night, life began with just the 3 (ahem, 4...Oscar) of us.